First off, I understand that in certain matters, it can be functional and advantageous to direct certain correspondence or inquiries throw certain interviews. If someone is the designated liaison with an outside group or entity, that’s fine. This is not what this is about.

If you are reaching out to someone to – let’s just say – play guitar next month, but they will only correspond with you through Bass Player Z, then quit wasting your time and energy. Guitar Player N is showing they have no respect for you. Even more, doing so is placing Bass Player Z in the position of controlling and filtering whatever information is passed through to you. Bass Player Z might mean well… or Bass Player Z might be part of the setup.

If you are the one held accountable when there’s no guitarist next month, then you need to not be putting your success/failure in the hands of either the Guitarist who has no problem ghosting you or the Bassist who has no skin in the game.

You know where else middlemen are dangerous? “So-and-so says…” “Well… I’ll talk to so-and-so for you…”

No. Even if the middleman is your employer. Especially if the middleman is your employer. You or “So-and-So” may be in the middle of a triangulation or alienation scheme. Talk to So-and-So yourself about whatever is between you and So-and-So.

And for that matter… It’s one thing to be a designated point person for your ministry. That’s just being wise, particularly if you’re their primary contact with the church. Don’t get into the Middleman business yourself. Stay the fuck out of it. People need to work their own interpersonal shit out at their own pace.

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