Be careful what you ask God.
I “made the mistake” of asking Him to lead me to a deeper spiritual level. Twelve hours later, I had an unexpected teleconference call with my employer over some recent developments. It quickly became contentious and led me to reevaluate my entire relationship with them. Over the next few days, it led to a series of exchanges that got increasingly uglier until I pulled out the Library of Colorful Metaphors.
Yes, I cussed him out. And yes, I was fired. And I’d do it again.
I’m not going to say that my last three years were completely wasted. I got to work with a crew of amazing people. Broken people have come to a place of healing. There were some creative and challenging musical and ministry moments. The musicians and singers I recruited were respected and honored as part of the community. There was one particular project that was finally starting to find its groove when Auntie Rona came to town and threw everything out the window.
Still. My employers weren’t who I thought they were. And I wasn’t the person they wanted me to pretend to be.
(For the record, God, I meant a richer, more fulfilling prayer life. What the hell is this shit supposed to be?) My best guess is that God’s truth – no matter how painful – is still better than the most pleasant delusion. It doesn’t make it any easier.
So… What’s next? No. Fucking. Clue.
Yes, I know. I should clean up this website and all my online profiles, assume this air of “professionalism”, make myself as nonobjectionable as possible, spend 12+ hours a day harassing my networks, and promote myself nonstop lining up interviews left and right until I break through.
And yet… I’m done. I have no intention of ever placing myself in a position like that again. As far as where that is going to lead me, I don’t know. I’ll figure it out when I get there. And if I don’t, so be it. At this point, I have no more years of my life to waste. I’ll go out however I go out, but it will be on my own terms.
So… What does this mean?
This may come as a shock, but – well – I actually do know a few things. Very well, as a matter of fact. Right now, there are projects I’m working on and things that I’m learning. It has never been difficult to find things to work on, especially at my age. I’ll worry about my own career (or lack thereof) and income.
At this point, I’m moving on.
-TKP
6/29/20
Kareem, you are my hero
Thank you, Erin!
Sometimes my prayers sound very similar with the same colorful language! I feel as though I connect more with people who pray those prayers of desperation (WTF, GOD?!) moreso than I do with people who pray the mundane, churchy, cookie-cutter prayers! No matter…I’m praying for you! Pray for me?? 🙏🏼👑😻
Don’t you know it! I’d rather someone be raw and honest than cultivating a fake image.
And you KNOW I’m praying for you!
Come on and
Ease on down, ease on down the road
Come on, ease on down
Ease on down the road
Don’t you carry nothing
That might be a load
Come on, ease on down
Ease on down the road
Come on, ease on down, ease on down the road
Come on, ease on down, ease on down the road
Don’t you carry nothing
That might be a load
Come on, ease on down, ease on down, down the road
Pick your left foot up
When your right foot’s down
Come on legs keep movin’
Don’t you lose no ground
You just keep on keepin’
On the road that you choose
Don’t you give up walkin’
Cause you gave up shoes, no
Ease on down, ease on down the road
Come on, ease on down
Ease on down the road
Don’t you carry nothing
That might be a load
Come on, ease on down
Ease on down the road
Cause there maybe times
When you think you lost your mind
And the steps you’re takin’
Leave you three, four steps behind
But the road you’re walking
Might be long sometimes
You just keep on steppin’
And you’ll just be fine, yeah
Ease on down, ease on down the road
Come on, ease on down
Ease on down the road
Don’t you carry nothing
That might be a load
Come on, ease on down
Ease on down the road
Well there maybe times
When you wish you wasn’t born
And you wake one morning
Just to find your courage’s gone
But just know that feeling
Only last a little while
You stick with us
And we’ll show you how to smile, yeah
Get ’em up, goin’ down, ease on down
Get ’em up, goin’ down, ease on down
Get ’em up, goin’ down, ease on down
Get ’em up, get ’em up ease on down
GAAAAAAAAH!!!! That song is stuck in my head!